Researching Love
Adapted poem written for my friends' upcoming wedding open mic
In my search for the meaning of love I have come to the profound realization that love is when a person is basically at their worst
They let that fuzzy monster (we will refer to as love) take cover inside their eyelids and forget to write their shopping lists or text their mom
They may also say something incredibly dumb to their crush like: I think I like you, or You look like a dream! When they walks into the room
I’ve heard they sleep with one eye open in case their phone vibrates and a written text with words like “Wish you were here” appear
They go to work with a phone at ten percent because the cord was not long enough to reach their pillow and subsequently go around the office asking for a charger ALL DAY LONG
It’s common for the lovesick to be incredibly rude to friends and literally not follow the conversation about your incredibly interesting and difficult hair routine,
A good way to decipher if someone has contracted the LOVE is with this simple test:
You start a conversation about how bad you smell, example:
“Geez, I need a shower”
Their reply will be short and non-judgemental like: “mmmk” or “yep”
But within two minutes they will inevitably tell you about how their crush smells like a meadow of flowers that has only been tended by blind monks, or an apple pie baked by Martha Stewart and Ina Garten in perfect unison, or a beefy tomato plant that is smoking an American Spirit.
Be prepared for a similar answer
In the important matter of food, the ones in love will go through a rollercoaster of caloric splurges and deficiencies that astound even professional eaters
It seems their stomachs share the growth of their smiles, and any prior dietary choices are hidden by the fuzz of love.
A lactose-intolerant person will become a cheese aficionado for the right character, and a mild salsa kind of dude could easily end up on the Hot Ones show if prompted
In this equation the consumption of stomach aids like tums, pepto-bismol and lactaid pills share their growth with how deep in love they are
After this peculiar research I confess I remain baffled in this affair
It is evident my friends have been afflicted and yet there is no demise
The action seems to have strengthened, softened and left them anew
And I am happy to celebrate here with you all and with them:
The dire, suffocating, liberating, ridiculous and necessary action of being in love
